<> <> (augh barbecue sauce on my hand) <> (Also, a targetting laser!) Uh, this doesn't look good here. * Hestia tries not to make any sudden moves but inches her hand toward her (holstered) gun at her side. "Anybody bring gravy?" * Tomas has given up on opening the space cans and suits up before disembarking and joining the others, "What's all this then?" * Zeke's drones start to flank him, as he comms, ~We know they know Sleythin.~ * Amadeus decides it's a great idea to hide behind somebody. Somebody in a suit. He steps behind the crew and tries to not be shot. * Lexi lexi stands ready to fight but then shrugs. ~Well I can't speak Sleythin. But maybe somebody should talk to them quick before they decide to use those things they're carrying.~ (blah -lexi that was dumb) <> (Fifty feet now...) (They inch closer when you blink.) * Hestia rolls her eyes. ~ I *read* Sleythin. I can sort of speak it. It's an anatomical thing. ~ She does, however, clear her throat and step forward. She doesn't move her hand, however. (*blink*) * Kyle looks up curiously at the bird thing. (*watches the birds fill with shuriken*) <> (Rochelle is not in this campaign!) (But she is in this universe.) (SHE IS THE PUPPET MASTER) (AHAHAHA) (Yeah, haven't you ever wondered who's running this corp that's sending us on wacky missions?) (I still have that thing that translates what I *hear* in sleythin to them in kinda-broken Marsal via radio, yes?) (Correct.) (Oh, good.) * Hestia glances at him, judges her words carefully, and decides to open with: [...Hello.] ("INCORRECT GREETING, PREPARE FOR ANNIHILATION." "...wonderful.") <> [... you are not Sleythin.] * Amadeus stays behind Kyle and Zeke, watching. He presses a finger against his ear comm, then follows the cord back to the TSM plug. * Hestia mutters ~ Well, no frakkin' duh, giant chicken, ~ before turning back to the birds. [ Correct. We have encountered them. ] (MEGA ULTRA CHICKEN) [ ... they survive?] * Hestia nods once. She does not say where, or how, because 'they survive' is so easily followed by 'WE CANNOT LET THEM ESCAPE' and explosions. [Then we will speak in their tongue. Who are you? It has been... a long time.] * Zeke comms, ~The conversation is going well?~ (You can hear what he's saying.) (In, like... Berlitz tape Marsal, but you can hear it, via radio.) (Oh, ha. Okay.) (My grandmother had Berlitz tapes for German. They're somewhere in my room back home.) * Amadeus comms, ~We're not dead yet. Fortunate they translated Tia's nod as an affirmative; these bird creatures would be more fascinating at a safer distance.~ * Hestia leans her head to the side somewhat, trying to talk to the others with as little lip movement possible. ~ How sure are we that the Bugs messed these people up good, before I start spilling ancient history to large birds with extremely large guns? ~ ~The inner planets were definitely aware of them.~ ~They've at least fought them.~ [Please hasten your conferring between yourselves.] <> (I'm assuming he can see mouth movements, etc. I don't KNOW that, but.) * Amadeus blinks in surprise, and he blurts out while also comming, "~How did they know?~" (Not from me!) * Hestia doesn't even bat an eyelash. She'll kill this one first when the revolution comes. [ Our race encountered them some time ago. Together, we defeated the {sleythin term for Bugs}. ] * Zeke comms, ~There are several methods. Perhaps electromagnetic.~ ~Perhaps. I need to think about this...~ <> [... you defeated them. Incredulity expressed.] (Well, there was this peppy little AI ball, you see...) (Also some really crazy motherfuckers.) * Hestia smirks a little bit. Let's see you blow that off, Turkeytron 9000. [ There's plenty of documentation if you don't believe me. ] [... understood. What are you called?] (WE ARE AS GODS.) * Hestia speeds this along. [ We call ourselves 'humans'. ] [We are the Duekti. This one has been selected to speak to you, and to evaluate.] (Please tell me the spokesbird is Scrooge McDuekti. That would make my day.) (YES) (c.c;) * Hestia nods slowly. Well, if he can hear this, it's STILL going to be in Marsal. ~ That 'this one has been selected'... translation pronoun weirdness? He probably means himself, right? ~ 2d6+4 * Dicesuke throws the bones for Zeke (2d6+4) and gets a natural 11 for a result of 15. (That's right. You know I'm awesome.) (I bet it's Pinky and the Brain in that suit.) ~Likely.~ ~So...~ ~That would make sense, yes.~ ~They said something along those lines before, in the warning message.~ ~ Oh, right... the one they stuck in the tin can to warn people they were going to shoot their damn faces off for trespassing. ~ * Hestia inclines her head toward Unca Scrooge and the All-Railgun Singers, perhaps as a way of saying 'I know you're listening since you said so.' [ We're explorers... you're among the first races we've met so far. ] There. Feel special, jihadibirds. (For the record, Lexi and Kyle and Tomas can hear the translation of what the guy is saying. Tia's broadcasting it in Marsal, radio-wise.) (Woot woot) <> [You are carbon-based organic, inside exosuits and force lines.] <> (It's a Speak-'n-Tricorder.) ("The carbon-based lifeform says: WELCOME TO DUCKBURG") * Amadeus steps around the suit in front of him, into view. There, no suit or forceline. [Do these items represent your technological pinnacle?] * Kyle is in a suit! * Zeke comms, ~I warn against too much exposure. They have been highly militant previously.~ ~Uh... does that matter?~ * Hestia raises an eyebrow. ~ Good question. ~ [ The best of the best? Doubtful. ] She tries to think if there's an idiomatic translation of 'rent-a-wreck' in sleythin. * Amadeus nods to Zeke. (We keep our massive positron cannons at home.) (Yeah, so don't fuck with us, bird people.) [It is commonly available?] * Hestia raises an eyebrow. [ That would depend on the technology you mean, but most of what we have is common, yes. ] (Except Zeke. There's not many super-intelligent lab mice.) <> [Some of you are modified.] * Lexi stretches. ~Why don't you ask them if they can stop pointing giant guns at us?~ ~Because I doubt they'll say yes.~ * Zeke just stares back at it, holoface dead flat. (*illusions in Godzilla* OH NOES A THREAT GO SHOOT THAT) * Zeke comms, ~It is likely they are analyzing combat capabilities. Their questions have not deviated from this point.~ * Hestia grins despite herself. ~Feeling exposed, Suit Boy?~ She tries to give Duck King as flat/calm a look as she can. [ It happens from time to time. ] ~I do not... enjoy their attempts at analysis. My problems are my own.~ ~Explaining SCA mutations would take a great deal of time.~ * Amadeus pushes his glasses up as he comms that. <> [What do you believe is the origin of the universe?] (Crap, religion.) (Hahaha. I realized I was about to say "oh, Jesus" ICly and stopped myself.) (ahaha) * Hestia raises one eyebrow in surprise, then turns toward Amadeus and the others. ~ Suddenly we're not in territory I enjoy being in anymore, guns or no guns. ~ ~It is an odd question.~ ~There are... many theories. Is he speaking scientifically or religiously?~ (Not to derail your lines of character too much, but it COULD be a scien-- exactly, Amadeus.) ~Seriously, dude.~ (I'm not a scientist! That's why I turned to them!) * Hestia hmms. ~Good question.~ She half-turns back to Scrooge McDuekti. [ In terms of science, or theology? ] [Whichever you think has a more correct answer.] (WOULD YOU LIKE TO TAKE A SURVEY) (Y) ~He's cheating.~ (NOW can I illusion in the Godzilla distraction?) * Amadeus glances at the metal chicken, then to Hestia. ~The big bang theory, then, and let's hope they can keep religion and science separate enough.~ (If you feel like not letting the poor alien give you his survey :( ) (George Wendt can be piloting Mechagodzilla, how about that) (Other people remember that on Animaniacs?) (Indeed.) (and here I thought I was a unique snowflake.) * Hestia shrugs. ~Fair enough by me.~ She turns back to Duck-emada the Inquisitor. [ Scientifically, we believe the universe was created by a massive explosion that scattered energy and matter into the cosmos. ] (Is it a Stan Survey?) <> [Is consciousness an emergent or definitive property?] (For reference, this translates _horribly_ in Sleythin.) * Hestia doesn't even say anything to him OR the team, this time; she just gives him the o_- expression. * Tomas looks to the doc? Er... what? * Tomas shrugs and considers giving those cans another go. ~Buh? Dude, he's talking like Dr. Engleburg.~ ~His area of expertise, not mine. I honestly have no idea.~ (Uh?) (It's some random guy at RNYU apparently. Welcome back, Tomas!) (Was more responding to Tomas leaving.) (I dropped something on my keyboard.) * Lexi shrugs. ~Pick one. 50/50 shot, right?~ (It went as well as expected.) (Yeah, just makin' someone up that's not going to matter. :P) * Hestia gives that some thought, turning to look back at the others for a long moment. Eventually, she turns back to the bird and shrugs, even if the gesture probably won't make it across. [ We don't have a cultural consensus on the matter, ] she says simply. [ Humans have... greatly diverse philosophies. ] (When in doubt: obscure the issue.) (Brilliant!) ~You remember him prof? He'd start every day with a question like that and by the end of the day you'd think the sky was green. Or somethin'.~ <> (He's either disappointed or they switched him off.) [Your species has been classified as inferior. Though the number of species in this category is large, you are henceforth forbidden from trespassing in Duekti space without explicit permissions. The name "human" shall be enscribed in the scrolls with a notation of your progress. Take heart, "human" ones, your species may yet have a chance to develop to the level of the Duekti.] ... (welp diplomacy has failed, bring on the napalm) (Yeeeeeeup.) (TURKEY SHOOT *blamblamblam*) * Amadeus has been taking video this entire time, so inferior or not, they totally have some bitchin' footage! [You are granted two sleythin hours to gather your possessions and leave before we begin combat. This one will be destroyed, as is fitting for one who has spoken with an inferior species.] <> ... ~Word.~ * Hestia covers her face and her chest with her arms, long bangs blowing back behind her from the blast. "What the *hell*?" she says, aloud. NOW YOU'RE TAINTED TOO, HUEY DEWEY AND LOUIE. <> * Amadeus winces, raising a hand to shield his face. "Holy shit." (So what, now they have to explode themselves too. I fear no chicken!) (Especially not roast chicken.) (Mmm... roast chicken.) (THE WORST THING ABOUT CAJUN CHICKEN...) (Hahaha.) * Zeke comms, ~This... makes sense, given their message before. Highly xenophobic.~ * Lexi shakes her head. ~Great! Must be real easy to win a war against these guys, just hold a press conference, invite the whole planet, and you're done.~ ~I'd be insulted, but he's dead, so I guess I can let that go.~ ~Maybe if we have a really big space-megaphone...~ <> ~I think we should get goin' though. They got lotsa guns.~ * Amadeus stares at the Duekti, and their massive guns. He takes a step back. ~Yes. I... think that's best.~ * Zeke and his drones start to back up, but he doesn't look away from them as he walks back, birdsect looking over his shoulder. * Hestia sighs and shakes her head. ~I don't feel like staying. On the upside, two sleythin hours is a long time.~ (I got that right, didn't I? Sleythin as a planet is massive, so an hour is probably longer than an Earth hour) (Correct.) 2d6+6 * Dicesuke throws the bones for Zeke (2d6+6) and gets a natural 9 for a result of 15. * Amadeus continues backing away, to the ship. At least getting in the ship is a good prize. ~True. I don't want to push my luck around them, though, and they'll be watching us.~ ~What is 'their' space anyways?~ ~No idea.~ * Hestia starts walking back, but she's doing it... crabwise, sideways, whatever... any way she can keep an eye on their hosts. ~Why did you freak out when he said he knew we were talking, Professor?~ ~I was surprised. Using a TSMcomm... it almost feels like an invasion of privacy, don't you think?~ <> * Hestia grins faintly at Amadeus. ~I don't know. In their place I'd probably try doing the same thing.~ * Lexi shrugs and heads back to the ship. "Ah well... at least they didn't try to kill us, and we didn't get hit by any wacky flare things, and we didn't get attacked by bugs, actually as planets that we visited go... this one has been a pretty safe trip..." she sighs. "Kinda disappointing really." (Not to be confused with their iPods. Which they keep on Phil Collins.) (THIN LIZZIE) * Amadeus comms, evenly, ~Perhaps, but that doesn't change my reaction. I'm not angry they did it, but I am surprised.~ * Amadeus also ignores Lexi, because she's crazy. Honestly? Crazy. * Hestia hopefully gets to the ship, or nearby it, so she can stop watching the people with the railguns for five seconds. ~I got to see a nutjob space chicken immolate himself at close range just for talking to me. I'd call that eventful enough.~ (I will celebrate his death with gingerbread.) <> * Lexi shrugs. ~Fair enough.~ ~Immolated WITH FIRE.~ (.... no, immolated with jellybeans.) * Zeke comms, ~Their judgement is certainly odd.~ ~Yeah, that's often the case with extremist morons.~ (ART IMITATING LIFE) ~Not particularly interested in getting an accurate assessment of our capabilities, either. For whatever that's worth. It's not like the information exchange was even.~ * Amadeus gets in the ship and has a seat in the lounge, sighing heavily and closing his eyes. ~Extremist morons who immolate themselves with fire for talking to us.~ ~Yeah, immolating themselves is something else idiots do.~ (I'm in your atmosphere, mocking your culture.) ~Maybe they're just really, really, REALLY insecure.~ ~Like they're overcompensating for something in their, uh, culture.~ * Hestia slumps down on a couch in the lounge. "Yeah. Or stupid." * Kyle takes a seat in the lounge. "Or stupid." We're not supposed to judge other cultures. But yeah. Stupid. * Hestia smirks at Amadeus. "We're not?" Hey, if my culture made me blow myself up for talking to someone, I'd call it stupid too! * Kyle thinks. We don' We don't have that happen, do we? It seems likely you would know. I dunno. Nobody's heard from the Space Mormons in years. Oh, you're right, they might do that. If they're still around, anyways. * Lexi shrugs and heads into the cockpit. "Are we stilling going to the last planet? Or should we just go back in case the crazy birds from planet D tell the Crazy birds in planet E about us?" * Hestia laces her fingers together and leans back, hands behind her head. "Preston's going to be mad we didn't bring one back for him." She pauses, then shrugs. "I wonder what they'd think of the sleythin now in terms of 'inferiority'..." I was wonderin' that myself. * Amadeus shakes his head. I don't think going to the last planet's advisable. Not if these birds have any military power at all. ~I agree.~ * Lexi waves off the suggestion. "Oh don't worry... I don't think they do. Those were clearly oddly shaped giant guitar cases. I think they were going to play us a song if they found us worthy." We could scan from orbit, maybe... but yeah, he made it sound like the next visit was 'shoot on sight', and it looks like at least some of these guys were able to fight off the Bugs. (Oh god where is that image macro) (http://img.4cham.net/b/macros/songofmypeople.jpg) (That is exactly what they were going to do, yes.) So. We leave? * Lexi nods. "Sure thing, Deus." <> (Hooray. LET'S GO HOME.) * Hestia gets up, stretching, clearly heading for the navigation room. "I won't miss this system at all... we went through a lot of work to find cranky, suicidal snob aliens." It is not a total loss of time. Not even remotely. * Hestia stops, looking back. "I didn't say it was a waste of time. I think we paid out more than we got, though." <> (Yup!) (So it happens.) <> "Hey, you guys are back. That was quite the trip - find anything useful?" (*bites back a '...not really'*) ("I got a tan." "...okay?") * Lexi shrugs. "Well... that depends on what you find useful." Does a xenophobic alien race of metal-bird people who call themselves the Duekti count? * Hestia just... stares at Amadeus. After a moment, she smirks, then mouths: 'You're stealing my schtick.' <> "... Space jesus, you guys found another dead species? What the hell are the odds?!" They're not dead. * Hestia pauses. "Well, some are." Especially one, but he was a jerk so fuck him. * Amadeus pushes his glasses up. "At least three are still alive, last check." <> "OW! Ow! What? Fuck, ow! They're ALIVE?!" * Amadeus grins at Tia. (Yeah, that was worth it.) * Zeke helpfully adds, "They have added us to the list of species that they will kill on sight, due to an internal judgement." ...Yeah but you may have trouble talking to them. They tend to blow themselves up for the disgrace of talking to the likes of us. So uh... if you want to open up diplomatic relations, I suggest doing it from a long distance and not bothering to remember names. <> "Okay, now I get it. Nice joke, okay, haha, what'd you really find?" Look, you. I had a giant armored xenophobe chicken blow himself up at close range, I'm not in the mood to joke. * Amadeus rolls his eyes, then reaches over and grabs a jack. He plugs himself in and accesses the video of their encounter with the Duekti. "Watch, Preston." He then plays a short clip across the link (not the one where the bird guy explodes himself just yet). <> "I... think you guys need to hold off on visiting GalReg just yet." Do tell. "This is pretty big stuff - BIG stuff. I think we need to make sure what we've got is the real deal. Not that I doubt you! No, not that, but we need to make sure we're beyond reproach here." ("And now that I've received a report from an inferior species, I will do what I must." *explodes*) Right. Let me play another clip for you then. * Amadeus fast forwards to about the part with the exploding and the warnings and all of that, and plays that section for Preston. ".... yeah, we DEFINITELY need to make sure all our i's are dotted and t's crossed, here. ATC will be on this like delinquents on spring break." (There are delinquents in the future?) (Tell me they've all been genetically altered to act like the cast of "Newsies".) Likely. They are good at it. (I HATE YOU FOR MAKING ME REMEMBER NEWSIES) * Hestia shrugs. "I can't blame them. This is big news, after all. I think they meant it with the shoot on sight part, though." (SANTA FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY) "It sure looks like it. Come on down, I'll meet you all at the Hitching Post." <> * Amadeus shrugs mentally. To the Hitching Post, it seems. (Last poses, I am time for z) * Hestia leans back in her chair, and glances at Amadeus to the side. "You're developing a mean streak, Prof." A beat. "I kinda like it." * Kyle looks back. "Oh, I guess this means I shouldn't blog about this yet." * Zeke replies to Hestia with, "It is not mean to be weary of nonsense." * Amadeus blinks at Tia. "Thanks. I think?" <>